Recently, I put in a request for information regarding a rental property I was interested in for a summer vacation. The agent I called was friendly and very eager to please. The problem was, he did not listen to my questions and he never checked in with me to see if he was hitting the mark. Instead, he spent considerable time researching and explaining information that I had not asked for. I took the time to listen to this warm and engaging man. I was not in a hurry and was simply relaxing with a cup of tea when he called. The call lasted approximately 30 minutes, where the man offered his opinion and information. Everything that he told me had nothing to do with my original request. The interesting thing was that he never checked in with me to see if he was covering information that I needed. When he finally hung up, he told me he had been happy to help, even though I would not be going forward with his services. He went as far as to offer assistance in the future if I had other questions.
I am passionate about the importance to really “see” the person you are communicating with, otherwise, we are just spending time talking to ourselves. If you are a hairdresser, ask your clients if the water temperature is just right. If you are a Mom, ask if your child feels understood. If you are rubbing someone’s shoulders, ask if the pressure is too hard or soft. Check in with the person you are with. Look into their eyes as often as possible, and ask yourself; am I “getting” them? When we are truly engaged with the people we are spending time with, the experiences are enhanced and the opportunities for great expression and possibilities blossom.